Yesterday was the first day of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year. It begins what are referred to as The Days of Awe; the days between the jewish new year and Yom Kippur, the day of repentance. The Days of Awe are a period for self-reflection. To look inward and decide what we want for ourselves for the next year. To decide what changes we might incorporate into our lives. To find inspiration on how to better ourselves. To set our hopes for where we'll be in the 11 months that the lunar calendar lays out before us.
As a liberal Jew, I love to celebrate both my religious and secular lives. Or really life. Because as a liberal Jew, I don't necessarily differentiate between the two. I am American. I am Jewish. I AM ME.
Rosh Hashanah always happens to fall at the beginning of my favorite season. The air becomes crisp and the leaves change. Growing up, it was a time that my parents would buy me lots of new clothing and shoes.
For most, it's time to pull out your favorite sweaters and blankets. For me, it used to be the time to pull out my favorite sweaters.
Because of my size, shopping for clothes is horrific. For the past two years, I have resigned myself to wearing shirts in shades of black and gray, topped with a black open cardigan. I have a rotation of eight or nine shirts and six or seven cardis. Those items, paired with a pair of dark jeans, or a pair of cropped jeans, comprise my wardrobe. It's not fun. Once in a blue moon, I'll find a shirt to add to my repertoire. I basically dress for winter all year round. My excuse when people say something about my clothing choices when it's hot out: "when you work in a freezing office all day, you have to dress for winter." That's an excuse.
While shopping with my sister-in-law recently, I realized I have such a sense of style that I just can't express. It's time to change that. It's time to allow myself all the offerings in shades other than black or gray. I want to walk into a store and say "I'd like to try that on," and be able to try it on.
I want options and choices and color and high heels and form-fitting and stylish and trendy and easy.
So this Rosh Hashanah has even more meaning to me this year. Because for once, I will hold onto and honor and achieve all the intentions I have set for the next 11 months. And next year, when I walk into the synagogue to ring in the new year, I will be wearing a new outfit. I won't be wondering did I wear this here recently and will someone notice? I will walk in proud, in color, feeling refreshed and renewed, as one should on that day.
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